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Archive for August, 2008

It’s Funny/Interesting

My first ever experience with meditation was with the Compassion Buddhist Center when it was located in Delmar NY above the Center for Integrated Health and Healing. I remember I was so apprehensive that I kept opening my eyes and shifting around in my chair because I thought that if I totally gave myself over to meditation it would actually be so transcendental that I’d literally take off and be transported to some magical, spiritual place. That first experience was more than two years ago, and it took me another year to return to a group/guided meditation experience (or any meditation experience for that matter). Little did I know then how difficult it is to completely give yourself over to meditation. And now, a couple of years later I wish for my meditation practice to be a little bit more transcendental than it is. At this point I don’t feel like I’d be too freaked out by seeing colors or feeling something a little “floating-like.” I actually don’t know exactly what a transcendental meditation practice might feel like; however, I highly doubt that is spends too much time getting caught up in deciding what lifting routine to do at the gym that day (which is where most of my mind was during today’s practice).

I also thought today about the upcoming semester and how for teachers and students each new school year is a bit like New Year’s with the possibility of setting goals and resolutions. I know that I want to really work on maintaining my meditation practice but also to allow myself ample time each week for my Life Organizer. So on Thursday afternoons I want to spend time looking at my weekend and planning the week ahead, clearing my mind of it to allow more time in the present moment.

Another thought I had today was to abandon my academic blog and focus more on this one. Although I don’t yet have a readership for this blog, these days I feel more comfortable with this pseudonymous form of writing. It seems to be a space where I can be more personal and really pour out some goals and plans for the future. It also feels like a space where I can write random thoughts without over-analyzing what other graduate students and folks in my field might say, write, think about it.

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